By: Stephanie Kirby. Medically Reviewed By: Dawn Brown. Dating can be hard. Sometimes it’s difficult to find the right person, and it can also be challenging to make a relationship last through the ups and downs of life. If your partner also struggles with depression, it can make things even harder. Ask An Expert. When you’re dating someone with depression , you might feel at a loss.
What You Need to Know if You’re Dating Someone With Depression
Have a question? Email her at dear. My boyfriend and I are in our early 20s, and we recently moved in together after being in a long-distance relationship for four years. I can barely get a normal conversation.
When you’re in the midst of a depressive episode, it is not the time to date. Take it from someone who’s been on both sides.
Depression builds walls around people and between people. When someone you love has been dragged inside those walls, there can be a distance between you both that feels relentless. Not in the way you both want to be anyway. The symptoms of depression exist on a spectrum. Not everyone who has depression will have a formal diagnosis, so knowing what to watch out for can help to make sense of the changes you might notice. Depression looks like a withdrawal. It feels that way too. Depression sucks the life out of life.
10 Tips for Dating With Depression
Depression can be devastating for those who suffer from it and dramatically impact their daily life. It also weighs heavily on those who love and support the person suffering. It can be hard to recognize signs of depression in those we love, and it can be even more challenging to confront these people with our concerns. However, depression should not prevent you from having a healthy relationship.
Dr. Jenn Mann takes on a tough topic in this week’s Hump Day column: How to keep yourself and your relationship afloat, when your partner’s.
It takes a lot of give-and-take from both parties to build a long-lasting relationship. With that said, dating someone with depression makes it much harder to achieve that goal. It might be hard for you to separate these feelings, so you blame yourself for the depression. In the end, though, this way of thinking makes dating harder for both of you. Such a relationship can be rewarding and be exhausting at the same time.
Although it takes more work, sticking with it and working through the depression can lead to a meaningful partnership. Therapy and professional help can make building the relationship easier. Getting to the root cause of the depression is vital in helping your partner overcome it. They often turn to drugs and alcohol to relieve their depressive symptoms. Unfortunately, the drugs only provide temporary relief for the pain.
As a result, they have to continue to abuse the drugs to keep getting relief.
What to Know About Dating Someone with Depression
In fact, according to the World Health Organization , over million people globally-of all ages, creeds, backgrounds, and genders-suffer from some form of depression. What is depression? How do you date someone who suffers from this mental health condition?
No. No, I wouldn’t. I’ve had people tell me it’s selfish, and it probably is, but I’ve dated depressed people and I couldn’t take it. I’m too empathetic. It drives me.
Jenn Mann answers your sexiest questions — unjudged and unfiltered. When my boyfriend and I first started dating, he told me that he struggled with depression. In retrospect, I think I was naive. What can I do to help him? You are not alone and neither is your boyfriend: According to the American Psychological Association , as many as 17 million adults in this country suffer from depression. Depression does not discriminate based on age, socioeconomics, fame or success.
In fact, many celebrities have spoken openly about their own difficulties with depression, including Lady Gaga , Kristen Bell. Most recently, reports have come out that the newly married Justin Bieber, while thrilled with his marriage to Hailey Baldwin, has been struggling with depression and has undergone treatment for it.
This really speaks to depression being an underlying issue and not a reflection of someone’s relationship. That said, it impacts a relationship enormously. Understanding the signs and difficulties that depression can bring, and exactly how to get help, are crucial to keeping yourself — and your partnership — on an even keel when tides get rough.
It is common to see sufferers struggle with apathy, hopelessness, loss of joy or interest in things that once brought pleasure, mood swings, exhaustion, obsessive thinking, sadness and anxiety. And in terms of lifestyle or behavior, depression can impact sleep insomnia or sleeping too much , eating loss of appetite or overeating , energy low energy or restlessness , and cognitive ability.
Often, depression in men shows up up differently, in the form of agitation, irritability or anger.
This Is What Dating With Depression Is Like
If you are in a relationship with someone who has depression, you are likely struggling with a mix of emotions and hosts of questions. What’s it really like to feel depressed? What can you do to help them through hard times? How will their symptoms and treatment impact your relationship?
It can be hard to see someone you love and care deeply for feeling so blue, and it can be especially hard to feel like nothing you can do will cheer.
About 18 million Americans suffer from depression and another 20 million worldwide use dating websites each month, according to Online Dating Magazine. Chances are, there are people who will be in both groups. But dating can be a challenge when you suffer from depression. That said, meeting a new person can also be a source of joy. These 10 simple tips can help make dating a bit easier. The best way to stay strong?
With greater awareness about depression, the stigma of mental illness has diminished somewhat. You need to take good care of yourself before you can take care of someone else in a relationship. To do this, be sure to engage in positive self-talk, Friedman says. And if you are on medication, take it religiously; be consistent with therapy; surround yourself with a support system of friends and family; and be around upbeat, positive people.
You might need to lick your own wounds first. If things become more serious, however, you should tell your potential partner.
Relationships take work—and lots of it. They used to get really excited about stuff, or be interested in various hobbies. Of course, everybody feels down from time to time. Plus, how to make sure you always preserve your own mental health and happiness. In addition to emotional changes, Dr. Or, it might be something else entirely.
After a year-and-a-half of dating, my boyfriend and I were seriously discussing marriage, but he ended the relationship when I couldn’t “snap out of” an episode.
In this series of blogs, we explore the realities of anxiety and depression through the lens of real-world first-person narratives from anonymous teens. What else can we learn about these issues? How can we work to overcome them together? Watching someone you love struggle with depression is incredibly difficult. However, when I started reflecting on how his depression had affected me, I knew that I had to start being honest with myself.
When I first began dating my boyfriend, I wanted to do everything I could to take away his sadness. It was caught between supporting a loved one and trying to love myself. Once I communicated with him that I was wrestling with my own issues, my boyfriend began to check in with me more frequently to make sure I was doing O. When I made my feelings known, my boyfriend explained that just by asking the question, I already was helping. What I can control is how I show my support. Often, just listening to my partner and letting him know that I am there if he needs me is more than enough.
There will be highs and lows. While this is true of any relationship, it is especially characteristic of relationships in which someone deals with depression.
A psychologist’s advice on dealing with depression in relationships
There are just a few things you should probably know. Mind has some great information. If we do something wrong, criticise our actions, not us as a person.
So what now? 1. Accept that your partner is depressed. Pretending the other person is okay, or telling them they will ‘snap out.
Millions of readers rely on HelpGuide for free, evidence-based resources to understand and navigate mental health challenges. Please donate today to help us protect, support, and save lives. As men, we like to think of ourselves as strong and in control of our emotions. When we feel hopeless or overwhelmed by despair we often deny it or try to cover it up.
But depression is a common problem that affects many of us at some point in our lives, not a sign of emotional weakness or a failing of masculinity. It affects millions of men of all ages and backgrounds, as well as those who care about them—spouses, partners, friends, and family.